Why Not?
by Francesca Monterone
Summary: Five reactions Steve more or less expected, and one that surprised him. A Coming out story. Oneshot, Bucky/Steve


_Five reactions Steve more or less expected, and one that surprised him. A Coming out story. Oneshot, Bucky/Steve_

_..._

_I do not pretend to own any of the characters or even the tiniest bit of the Marvel Universe, nor am I making any money with this._

_Nevertheless, reviews are much appreciated ;)_

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><p><strong>1. Peggy - Forbidden Colors<strong>

She is the first one he tells. Even before he confesses his feelings to Bucky - not that he hasn't made them obvious before, but speaking of it is _different_ - anyway, even before he tells Bucky, he tells Peggy. It has to be that way. She has always been his confidante and soundboard, and he trusts her judgment more than his own. Maybe because she has always been the older and wiser one, and not simply in years, but in experience.

He is nervous about it. Terrified, even. Which is utterly ridiculous, because this is _Peggy_, for Heaven's Sake, one of his two best friends. But then, maybe that is exactly what makes this so difficult. If she were to reject him, if she were to disapprove, to hate him for it... he can't bear to imagine a look of contempt, of disgust on her face, it breaks his heart.

He hesitates for a long time before telling her. Finally gathers up his courage, arranges to meet her, and in stumbling, awkward words pours her heart out to her.

Peggy doesn't interrupt, waits for him to finish his declaration. Even after he has said all that comes to mind, she remains silent for a moment. Steve holds his breath.

A smile slowly spreads over her aged face. "Steve," she takes his hand, "I'm glad you told me. I'm sure that took a lot of courage."

He breathes a deep sigh of relief. "Yes," he admits, feeling a little lightheaded. "It did."

Peggy nods sagely. "We were born in a different time. But even now, with so many things changed, and many for the better, it's not an easy thing to admit to yourself and to others that you are different. That things you always took for granted aren't all that true..." She seems pensive, studies his face. "You know, Steve, I always wondered... Bucky and you were close, very close, and when you spoke of him, there was always that look on your face, unlike anything else I had ever seen there. The way you interacted, the way he never seemed far from your thoughts... well, I never doubted that you cared very, very much for him. More than a friend, perhaps."

He is surprised at that, but maybe he shouldn't be. "You never said anything."

She shakes her head. "No. It wasn't my place to say anything and with the general public's opinion of homosexuality back then... it didn't seem right. Later, when I saw the tale the post-war narrators had spun for you, I was somewhat disappointed, but I could not blame them - how could they have known? I felt like the guardian of some precious and volatile secret." She looks out of the window for a moment, as if remembering, then back at him. "There is a book I read, by a Japanese author whose name I cannot remember now... the title of the English translation is 'Forbidden Colors'*. A metaphor of sorts, since one of the primary motives of the book is the public intolerance that compels the characters to hide their sexual orientation. The story has almost nothing to do with yours, but the metaphor reminded me of you."

"So you aren't... you don't think it's wrong?" He has to hear it confirmed, just... because. To feel completely safe and secure. Even though it already seems stupid that he could ever have thought she would reject him for being gay.

Peggy squeezes his hand. "No, of course not. And it makes me happy to know that you can openly admit it now. You have as much a right to be happy with someone you love as anybody else, no matter what their gender."

Steve feels his heart constrict with painful tenderness.

* * *

><p><strong>2. Natasha - Lips Don't Lie<strong>

Like Peggy, Natasha thinks Steve deserves to be happy. Like Peggy, she believes that being happy with someone beats trying to achieve happiness all on your own. Unlike Peggy, she attempts to play matchmaker.

She tries to set him up with various agents. With the nurse who lives in his apartment building (and later turns out to be an agent, too). With a barista, a policewoman and an ice cream vendor. Hell, she even tries to get him interested in the pizza delivery girl.

After the plumber who fixes the leaking drain inside his apartment, and the fiasco with the executive assistant from Stark Industries' public relations department, she gives up.

"You are impossible," she tells Steve over a morning cup of cappuccino at their new favorite coffee shop (Steve may not be romantically interested in the barista, but she sure knows her job).

"Sorry."

Natasha sighs. "No, it's okay. I get it. But you could have told me and saved me a world of trouble."

"Uh... told you what...?" Steve asks, not really all that awake yet.

She rolls her eyes. "Steve. Are you gay?"

"Huh?" His head jerks up. The question seems very blunt, but then, that's Natasha for you. "Uh... yes...?"

"Just checking." Natasha nods. "Well, that explains it. It also explains why you were so uncomfortable when I kissed you. Because I assure you, that's not usually how straight men react to me."

Steve grins. "I bet."

* * *

><p><strong>3. Bruce - What Makes Us Human<strong>

Of all his friends, Bruce is perhaps most predictable in his reaction, but that doesn't mean Steve is any less happy about his acceptance and encouragement. Early on, Steve has decided to enlist his help in trying to help Bucky find the way back to himself through the HYDRA-grown valley of thorns that is his tortured mind.

Bruce could probably write the book on dealing with one's personal demons, and he is very patient, doesn't generally take violent attacks against his person all too personal and is virtually indestructible when the Hulk takes over. All of these are great qualities when dealing with the deadly mess on two legs that is HYDRA's Winter Soldier.

But slowly, slowly, the Soldier breaks away in bits and pieces as Bucky's memories return and parts of his old self resurface. He knows, and Steve knows, too, that he will never be the one he was before the war. However, he is becoming a person once more. He is no longer a mindless machine. He lives, feels, cares. For Steve, most of all.

"Somehow, you are everything," he tells Steve quietly, their faces close and their fingers intertwined, voicing Steve's own feelings.

"I will never give up on you, Bucky."

"I know." It's a whisper, and a long look, and a shared heartbeat. A kiss, sweet and bitter and promising at once.

"Would you like me to leave?" Bruce asks softly, politely.

Steve blushes, draws back, but still holds Bucky as he turns his head, unwilling to let go. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he apologizes.

"Oh, I'm not uncomfortable," Bruce assures him. "I merely thought you might like some privacy. I'm a scientist, yes, but you guys aren't my lab rats."

Steve watches Bucky grin. "Thanks, Doc, we appreciate it."

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><p><strong>4. Tony - Inside Out<strong>

"So let me get this straight, no pun intended - you are not only telling me that Captain America, the hopelessly old-fashioned moral pillar of this nation, is gay, but also that you're dating a serial killer who repeatedly tried to annihilate you." Tony looks at him expectantly.

Steve winces. It sounds pretty bad when you put it that way. "I guess so."

Tony stares at him intently for about fifteen seconds, before bursting out in laughter. "Oh, I love it!" he says, wiping tears from his eyes and clapping Steve on the shoulder. "You're priceless, Cap."

Now it's Steve's turn to stare. Does this qualify as a positive reaction? This is Tony, after all. And he seems a little too happy, which is _never _a good sign. "You don't think it's... I don't know, wrong...? Strange?"

"Suicidal...?" Tony suggests. He shrugs. "Hey, it's your life, Cap. And I know for a fact that you're pretty hard to kill, so..." He lets the sentence trail off. "You never do things by half, do you? Out of all the possible men out there, it just had to be your evil twin."

"He's not evil," Steve protests, "he never was. Being evil requires both a choice and a conscious effort, and they never gave him a choice." And more quietly he adds: "And it's always been him. Even before the serum, before... everything."

"Well, more power to you for waiting the better part of a century to tell him." Tony grins. "Romance isn't really your thing, is it? Well, no matter. How do we tell the world that Captain America is getting cozy with the bad guy...? Does anyone know?"

It's a valid question, one that's been on Steve's mind, too. "Peggy and Natasha. And Bruce."

"Bruce?" Tony pulls a face. "You told Bruce before telling me? Now I'm offended. What did you think I'd do, spread the story to the media or throw you guys and outrageous coming out party...? Huh, on second thought - that might not be such a bad idea. You'll have to go public sooner or later. Why not go all out?"

Steve shudders at the thought of Tony organizing a party for Bucky and him. "Uh... no, Tony, that really isn't necessary. Maybe something a little less... public?" _Embarrassing?_

Tony shrugs. "Okay, then. A press release? And you should do an interview. Let them spin a story of great and tragic love spanning a century... they'll lap it up. And your metal-armed friend could really do with a bit of good press for a change. Most of the world would dearly love to see him six feet under, or at the very least locked up in a maximum security prison. But this could change the odds in his favor. People love stories of love and redemption. Shall we give them one?"

Slowly, Steve nods.

"Oh, good," Tony says, rubbing his hands. "This should be fun."

And he sets out to orchestrate a media campaign that makes Steve very, very glad that Tony Stark is on his side. He'd hate to have the man for an enemy. He is a master manipulator.

It begins with a short, rather dry press release, that many believe to be a hoax, because really, Captain America...? But then there's a long, emotional and carefully scripted interview with a handpicked freelance journalist, who is well aware of the fact that this is the piece that will kick start her career. Tony chooses a well-respected paper, because print media are easier to control than TV. Still, there is a picture spread spanning from one of the few childhood pictures of Bucky and Steve together, to a few modern day ones, artfully arranged. Those pictures fly around the globe, printed and re-printed and shown on TV and on countless websites... Steve and Bucky on the interviewers couch, holding hands, back to back in their uniforms like representatives of dark and light, two sides of the same coin. Another one of Steve standing behind Bucky, holding him close.

"Hopelessly sappy." Bucky shakes his head, tossing the paper aside. "Remind me why I agreed to this...?"

Steve smiles. "Because I asked you _very _nicely."

Bucky looks at him, the corners of his mouth quirking up. "Ah. That." He shakes his head. "Still... I feel like one of those inside-out sushi rolls. My whole private life has been dragged out into the open."

"It's nice to know that I'm your whole life."

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><p><strong>5. Clint - Crimes Of Passion<strong>

Over the course of the past months, Steve has come to know Clint Barton pretty well, and Natasha has told him bits and pieces about the archer that are starting to form a coherent picture. What she has failed to mention, though, is that Clint has horrible timing.

Which is why Steve never expected Clint to walk in on him and Bucky. What he should perhaps have expected, however, is that Clint would misinterpret the situation.

As to how Bucky and he ended up on the rooftop of Stark Tower half dressed, Steve could not say, but he isn't complaining. Not while the world around him is growing fuzzy and drifting away, and everything is reduced to just the two of them, their kisses, the touch of Bucky's flesh hand and his breath hot on Steve's naked skin.

He is dimly aware of the fact that he's saying something, or maybe just making mindless noises, because God, this is almost too much to take, and he doesn't know what to do with all of those feelings, but it doesn't seem to matter.

Another thing Steve doesn't know about Clint but should have expected, is that the archer likes high places. Such as rooftops. Nice, flat, high rooftops, where one can sit alone in the dark and gaze down at the city lights, letting all thoughts drift away.

It's the sounds Steve is making that alert Clint to the fact that he's not alone on this particular rooftop. And he's still high-strung from the mission, overprotective and paranoid, and to be fair, Steve doesn't usually make such sounds, so Clint can't be blamed for thinking that something has gone terribly wrong.

His reaction is pretty straightforward. The whirring sound of an arrow is all the warning Steve gets before Bucky collapses on top of him and they end up in an undignified tangle of limbs, the metal arm hitting Steve squarely across the face.

"Bucky!" There is alarm in his voice and panic on his mind. He rolls out from under the unconscious man and tries to shield him with his own body, and Bucky gives a groggy "Oof."

Steve looks up, right at Clint who has rushed closer to see if he needs help. Steve makes the connection - arrow, archer, unconscious Bucky - and glares at Clint. "What the hell was that for?! You can't just go around shooting people with" -

- "Curare," Clint supplies helpfully, and - because Steve's expression has just turned murderous - quickly adds: "It won't kill him or do any serious damage. With his metabolism, he should be back to normal soon. It was a small dose, anyway."

"Of a lethal poison!" Steve responds hotly, cradling Bucky in his arms. "Are you crazy?"

"Well, it looked as if he was strangling you..."

Steve stares at him, incredulous. "Clint," he says slowly, "don't you watch the news?"

"I just got back from a mission," the archer defends himself. "I haven't had time yet."

Bucky begins to stir, his eyes opening. He looks like he's been hit with something heavy, but otherwise not so bad. Steve looks back up at Clint. "Well, for your information, he _wasn't _trying to kill me. Far from it, actually. You should have Natasha explain it to you, but there are more things two people can do on a rooftop besides kill each other."

Clint's chin drops. "You're not serious."

"He's an idiot," Bucky cuts in drowsily, "leave it."

Clint is still staring at them, wide-eyed. "Oh my...! That's... not what I expected."

"Clearly," Steve says drily.

"Tell him to go away," Bucky mutters, hiding his face against Steve's chest.

"Go away, Clint."

Clint raises his hands in a gesture of defeat. "Hey, it was an honest mistake. I never thought that... okay, fine, whatever, I'm leaving. Just don't kill me. Or mention this to Tony. Or Natasha. Or... anyone."

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><p><strong>1. Thor - Divine Comedy<strong>

Unlike Clint, Thor is obviously following the news, even though Steve can't see how he would manage to do so while on Asgard. But maybe Jane sends him weekly digests of what is happening on Earth?

Still, nothing could have surprised Steve more than Thor drawing him into a bone-crushing hug on his next visit, complete with hearty backslaps and possibly a cracked rib or two. He stares at the alien prince, enthusiastically congratulating him, unable to comprehend.

"Uh... Thor...? Are you sure this isn't a misunderstanding?"

Thor is still beaming at him. "No, I am merely congratulating a friend on his good fortune. Having found someone to share your life with is indeed a very joyous occurrence. It should be properly celebrated. Are you planning on holding a feast?"

"Er... maybe...?" A feast? Really? As in, a wedding feast...? Steve doesn't know how he feels about marrying Bucky. He is still trying to get used to the idea that now, two men can get married in some States of the US.

"Good." Thor slaps his shoulder again. "Very good."

"But I thought... well, since you're from a warrior culture and..." Steve is attempting to wrap his mind around the idea that _Thor_ of all people would congratulate him on getting together with another guy.

Thor looks at him for a moment, seeming perplexed. But then he begins to laugh, a loud, booming laugh. "Oh, that. My friend, this is Asgard: the realm whose prince turned into a _female_ horse to seduce a fiery stallion and bear an eight-legged foal, and nobody batted an eye. I know the bards claim that Loki did it to give our father an advantage in the war, but personally, I think he enjoyed himself. And why not?"

Well, Steve thinks, to hell with it, maybe he's right.

Why not?

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><p><em>* The book "Forbidden Colors" was written by Japanese author Yukio Mishima and first published in 1951.<em>


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